My Landmines are Limiting God

Some things the Lord is gently speaking to me about:

The friendship of the Holy Spirit . . . After quietly crying myself to sleep one night (So pathetic! I think it was a hormone and homesick combo.), the Lord ministered to me strongly and clearly in the night. I was humbled and so touched—baffled by His pursuit—that He would speak so personally and clearly to me. Sounds like “Duh, Stacie! Don’t you know He loves you?” Yes, and the fresh revelation of it brings me to my knees every time.

I can recite the message of the dream and encounter. The Holy Spirit said, “Stacie, I want to be a best friend to you, but you are tied up in a long distance friendship.” Meaning, I'm still pining for my friends back home and overlooking His presence and Person to befriend me right now in a deeper way than I have ever known. Sometime, Lord willing, I will share the whole dream with you.

Second, what would my life look like if my family sincerely prayed, “Lord, we will do anything—anything—you want us to do”? The picture I had was the Holy Spirit walking through my life manoeuvring around hidden landmines. There are certain areas—ideas He has for me—that if he walked on them or touched them, my reaction would be explosive, defensive, and “off limits.” Most of these areas have to do with my children and how I think raising them should look.

I am praying, “Holy Spirit, I want you at home in my life, free to move and touch, and do whatever you like whenever you like. Come and be at home, comfortable in all areas. I don’t want my life to be like walking on eggshells for You.” I want Him happy—not grieved—and at home, freely roaming about, so my life is HIS home. He can take what he wants, go where He wants, say what He wants, because I am His in a real, true way.

So, I pray, I trust, and I walk by faith not by sight. When my kids leave the house someday, I want to be able to say to them, “You saw there was nothing your mom and dad were not willing to sacrifice for the gospel, not even our lives. Now go and do the same.” (This is a quote from Brad Busser to his children. Busser was a missionary to Papua New Guinea with his wife and four children.)

Right now, I think I would be happy to spend my life inspiring the church to venture out and do something. From being in the field, I can assure you: We know plenty. We do far less than we are capable of doing. Show up, filled up, and pour out.

I know there are challenges and big decisions and heartache and trials up ahead. I cling to Him, and His right hand upholds me. If I can stay love sick toward Him, all will be okay.